Beer Quotes
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Historical

 

“Let no man thirst for good beer."

 -- Sam Adams

 

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

-- Benjamin Franklin

 

“Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health."

 -- Thomas Jefferson

 

There are more old drunkards than old doctors. “

--Benjamin Franklin

 

“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer. “

-- Frederick the Great

 

Social reformer Lady Astor ended a temperance lecture with the quote, "I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer," in response someone in the crowd bellowed back, "Who wouldn't?"

 

“We could not now take time for further search or consideration: our victuals being much spent, especially our beer. “

-- Mayflower logbook entry dated December 16, 1620

 

“Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell younger beer.”

-- German Beer Law, 1466

 

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

-- Winston Churchill

 

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”

-- Plato

 

"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
-- Kaiser Welhelm

 

 

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.”

-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”

-- His reply

 

“There is no greater joy than in being a drinker... except for the joy in the wine in the women and being drunk. So I'm for drinking honestly and dying in my boots. “

-- Lord Byron

 

 

 

"Drink to me."

-- Dying words of Pablo Picasso

 

Literary

 

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”

-- Ernest Hemmingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

 

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
-- Ernest Hemmingway

 

"They who drink beer will think beer."
-- Washington Irving

 

"I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death."
-- Jack Kerouac

 

"Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chambers of my brain. Quaintest thoughts--queerest fancies, Come to life and fade away: What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today."
-- Edgar Allan Poe

 

 

“In Belgium, the magistrate has the dignity of a prince, but by Bacchus, it is true that the brewer is king. “
-- Emile Verhaeren (1855-1916), Flemish writer

 

 

 

“There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it. “
-- Hunter S. Thompson

 

 

“Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no! “
-- Hunter S. Thompson (on the US war against Iraq)

 

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety. “

-- King Henry V, Shakespeare

 

“A quart of ale is a dish for a king. “

-- Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare

 

 

"Everything in moderation.  And that includes a couple of beers a day."

-- Stephen King

 

 

"Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer."
-- Tom T. Hall

 

Musical

 

"Well I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a beer."
-- Jim Morrison / The Doors (from Roadhouse Blues)

 

“If I had a perfect day, I would have it start this way – open up the fridge and have a tall-boy, yeah!”

“Now excitement seems to grow when we’re hanging with the bro’s, when we’re chillin’ and we pound a case of Stroh’s”

--  the Offspring, “One fine day”

 

“Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs, Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds, Father's in the cellar mixing up the hops, Johnny's on the front porch watching for the cops. “

-- Prohibition Song

 

“The difference between drunks and alcoholics is that us drunks don't have to go to all those damn meetings. “
-- Country Song

 

 “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a beer!”
-- Bob and Doug MacKenzie

 

“A person can work up a mean, mean thirst after a hard day of nothin' much at all. “

--The Replacements

 

“I’ve been a wild rover for many a year, and I’ve spent all me money on whiskey and beer”

--  from “Wild Rover” (No Nay Never), an Irish drinking song

 

 

 

Homebrewing

 

“Relax. Don't Worry. Have a Homebrew. “

-- Charlie Papazian's Homebrew Ode

 

“Brewers of all-grain strong ales and lagers, however, may need to reduce the volume of the wort by evaporation to achieve targeted initial high gravities. Evaporation also makes the house smell good to most sensible people. “
--Home Brewer's Companion, Charlie Papazian

 

“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire. “

-- David Rains Wallace

 

“Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour.. Teach him to brew and he wastes a lifetime.”

-- unknown

 

“The true enthusiast is probably happiest drinking from an opaque container. It does not allow him to see the small imperfections in the appearance of the beer. “

-- Joy of Cooking

 

 

General Drunkenness

 

 

“You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. “

-- Colonel Adolphus Busch

 

 

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”

 -- Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

 

 

“Of beer, an enthusiast said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others. “
--A. A. Milne

 

“Guinness sells on the average of 7 million glasses a day. “

-- Beer Magazine

 

 

“Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same. “

-- Hugh Hood

 

“There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better. “
--The Great Beer Trek, Stephen Morris

 

“Why we are here: To tremble at the terrible beauty of the stars, to shed a tear at the perfection of Beethoven's symphonies, and to crack a cold one now and then. “

-- David Letterman

 

 

 

“Just as it is shameful to be drunk among the sober, so is it shameful to be sober among the drunk”

-- unknown

 

“To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house.”

-- Publilius Syrus

 

Extensive interviews show that not one alcoholic has ever actually seen a pink elephant.
--Yale University, Center of Alcohol Studies

 

“Not Drunk is he who from the floor can rise and drink once more - but Drunk is he who prostrate lies, and can neither drink, nor rise. “

-- Saloon at Luckenbach, Texas

 

“Beer is the reason we get up each afternoon."

-- Ray McNeill

 

“Beer has food value, but food has no beer value."

-- Anonymous

 

“Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer."

-- Freddie Freak

 

“If die I must, let me die drinking in an inn.”
-- Walter Map or Mapes

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. What a coincidence...”

-- Stephen Wright

 

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we

fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”

-- Brian O'Rourke

 

"A full beer is a perfect beer."
-- Tim Russman

 

"A drink a day keeps the shrink away."
-- Edward Abbey

 

“To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group”

-- Unknown

 

“Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.”

-- Catherine Zandonella

 

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”

-- W.C. Fields

 

"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
-- Miguel De Cervantes

 

 

"If we can't drink 'til we throw up, we don't wanna be a part of your stinkin' revolution!"

-- Slogan for the Rhino Party, an official registered political party in Canada.

 

"Our goal is to reduce stress in society and to make people feel better

with the help of beer."

-- This was the slogan for the Russian Beer Lovers' Party, a political party

that actually ran for election a few years back.

 

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery

and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they

might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to

myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come

true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’ “

-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

 

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the

morning, that's as good as they're going to f`eel all day.”

-- Frank Sinatra

 

"a man without beer is like a lawnmower without grass"

-- anonymous

 

 

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

-- Henny Youngman

 

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is

beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the

wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

-- Dave Barry

 

“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.”

-- Unknown

 

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E’, except in Budweiser.

-- Unknown

 

“Most men can at least recognize some beauty when Drunk.”

-- Unknown

 

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it

helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,

but at the very least you need a beer.”

-- Frank Zappa

 

“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.”

-- David Daye

 

“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”

-- Oscar Wilde

 

 

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it

makes beer shoot out your nose.”

-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

 

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

-- Humphrey Bogart

 

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.”

-- David Moulton

 

“People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just

like to pee alot.”

-- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

 

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”

-- Homer Simpson

 

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and

oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital

ingredient in beer.”

-- Dave Barry

 

“I drink to make other people interesting.”

-- George Jean Nathan

 

“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

-- Dean Martin

 

“All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just

do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.”

-- Homer Simpson

 

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."
-- Henry Lawson

 

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
-- Humphrey Bogart

 

"A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her."
-- W.C. Fields

 

"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober."
-- William Butler Yeats

 

 

“When I heated my home with oil, I found that I used an average of 800 gallons per year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer."

-- unknown

 

“I like the Whisky old an the women young" 

--  Errol Flynn